Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Your first year at Sebring?  (Read 851 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
MAXX OTTO
Seasoned Veteran
****
Posts: 372


Smell this


« on: January 20, 2011, 04:30:10 am »

If you are a newcomer to sebring and are faint at heart, read no farther

My first year at the 12 Hours.

 
  This story may take a bit of reading, but please bare with me. I think you will find it funny as hell. Back in the mid 80s I was stationed in southern Germany, and had the opportunity to attend the 24 hrs of LeMans (I jumped all over it). We were camped just on the infield side  of  the Dunlop bridge, back when it was just woods.  I had settled down in my little pup tent to enjoy my alcohol coma, when all of a sudden a tree fell on top of my tent (thats what I had thought at the time). Then me and my tent were being dragged down hill. By then I was semi conscious and heard a bunch of commotion and laughing. Then it dawned on me, I'm being dragged away by a bear. My tent finally stopped moving and I got up the gumption  to stick my head out. My buddies were laughing their arses off and pointing down the hill.  I couldn't see one inch in front of me, so I thought they were playing a sick practical joke on me.  It turns out it was a French cop chasing some guy and they landed directly on top of me and my little pup tent. after a few punches and billy club swings later the cop got up to continue the chase, but one of the lines on my tent  had wrapped itself around his leg while he continued the chase, thus dragging me down the hill. After chewing my buddies out I crawled back into what was left of my tent and finished my coma. The next morning other campers confirmed this story. I apologized to my friends gracefully and we continued to party. I thought that was the best time I have ever had in my life. Oh how wrong I was.
 That brings me to Sebring.
This past March I talked my Sister  into attending the 55th annual with me. She is a race fan but has never experienced ALMS. So I, in my infinite wisdom,  decided to purchase a tent that that I thought was virtually bullet proof and could not be dragged away by bears. What I didn't check for is the little tag on it to see if it was tornado proof. We set up camp at turn 12 and befriended a boat load of people. I had found out a long time ago, toilet paper is more valuable than gold. So after the first downpour, our neighbors tent was saturated and they offered me 50 bucks for  some toilet paper. I would have none of that!! I told them "You will take two rolls free of charge and I don't want to hear any fuss about it". They were so grateful, the leader Knighted me on the spot and built shrines in my general direction. We ate, we laughed, we cried, we wiped things with thy aforementioned TP. The Cleavers would be envious if they witnessed this.
 Then the big one hit...At that precise moment all the grog and live farm animals I had been consuming, decided to egress from the south exit. Thank God for my physical fortitude. I excused myself and made a beeline for the portolet. On the way I made a quick stop to close the front flap on my bear proof tent to keep the innards from getting wet (as I was getting pelted by bullet like hail).         I got half way to the potty and my plumming said "too late brother".   Talk about a F-in mess. This was not by choice. I made it to the portolet. Ill spare you the details, but I will put it this way. Combine the Wizard of OZ and spelunking. The winds at the airport were clocked at 69mph. (good round number). 45 min later and discarding most of my clothes and pride, Two F15s cleared me for landing. I have never been so glad to see  rain, earth, sky, wind, and my own well being. But above all ...was to be with all who walks through the gates of SEBRING!

« Last Edit: January 20, 2011, 05:40:42 am by MAXX OTTO » Logged

Tell us another story Grandpa.
leeself
SF Moderator
Seasoned Veteran
*****
Posts: 728


Rookie? Rookie?!


« Reply #1 on: January 20, 2011, 08:55:05 am »

Geez MaX, how can anybody follow that?  Boogie Boogie

-Lee 
Logged
Penny
Veteran
***
Posts: 211


« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2011, 06:51:08 pm »

If you are a newcomer to sebring and are faint at heart, read no farther

My first year at the 12 Hours.

 
  This story may take a bit of reading, but please bare with me. I think you will find it funny as hell. Back in the mid 80s I was stationed in southern Germany, and had the opportunity to attend the 24 hrs of LeMans (I jumped all over it). We were camped just on the infield side  of  the Dunlop bridge, back when it was just woods.  I had settled down in my little pup tent to enjoy my alcohol coma, when all of a sudden a tree fell on top of my tent (thats what I had thought at the time). Then me and my tent were being dragged down hill. By then I was semi conscious and heard a bunch of commotion and laughing. Then it dawned on me, I'm being dragged away by a bear. My tent finally stopped moving and I got up the gumption  to stick my head out. My buddies were laughing their arses off and pointing down the hill.  I couldn't see one inch in front of me, so I thought they were playing a sick practical joke on me.  It turns out it was a French cop chasing some guy and they landed directly on top of me and my little pup tent. after a few punches and billy club swings later the cop got up to continue the chase, but one of the lines on my tent  had wrapped itself around his leg while he continued the chase, thus dragging me down the hill. After chewing my buddies out I crawled back into what was left of my tent and finished my coma. The next morning other campers confirmed this story. I apologized to my friends gracefully and we continued to party. I thought that was the best time I have ever had in my life. Oh how wrong I was.
 That brings me to Sebring.
This past March I talked my Sister  into attending the 55th annual with me. She is a race fan but has never experienced ALMS. So I, in my infinite wisdom,  decided to purchase a tent that that I thought was virtually bullet proof and could not be dragged away by bears. What I didn't check for is the little tag on it to see if it was tornado proof. We set up camp at turn 12 and befriended a boat load of people. I had found out a long time ago, toilet paper is more valuable than gold. So after the first downpour, our neighbors tent was saturated and they offered me 50 bucks for  some toilet paper. I would have none of that!! I told them "You will take two rolls free of charge and I don't want to hear any fuss about it". They were so grateful, the leader Knighted me on the spot and built shrines in my general direction. We ate, we laughed, we cried, we wiped things with thy aforementioned TP. The Cleavers would be envious if they witnessed this.
 Then the big one hit...At that precise moment all the grog and live farm animals I had been consuming, decided to egress from the south exit. Thank God for my physical fortitude. I excused myself and made a beeline for the portolet. On the way I made a quick stop to close the front flap on my bear proof tent to keep the innards from getting wet (as I was getting pelted by bullet like hail).         I got half way to the potty and my plumming said "too late brother".   Talk about a F-in mess. This was not by choice. I made it to the portolet. Ill spare you the details, but I will put it this way. Combine the Wizard of OZ and spelunking. The winds at the airport were clocked at 69mph. (good round number). 45 min later and discarding most of my clothes and pride, Two F15s cleared me for landing. I have never been so glad to see  rain, earth, sky, wind, and my own well being. But above all ...was to be with all who walks through the gates of SEBRING!


                Beer    So funny.   2funny   Thanks for sharing.
Logged
Magic Mike
Veteran
***
Posts: 113



WWW
« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2011, 09:06:39 pm »

My first year at Sebring was for an IMSA/V8 Stockcar race last February.  This will be our first year for the 12 hour (we're coming Thursday) and I can't wait to get my cherry popped!
Logged

Head magician at Magic & McQueen's Turn 6.5 Midway Mania SeaHorse Racing Team  "Ibi Tentorium In"
Kings_Suck
Verified Member
Friend of Don Panoz
*****
Posts: 1066


One of the bigger idiots here!


« Reply #4 on: January 21, 2011, 11:57:19 am »

I shit myself at my first Sebring too.  I was 9 years old in 1970; there were no portolets and the lines to the toilets were about a block long.
Logged

You've only got to spend 5 minutes on sebringfans.com to realize that, while many of them may be knowledgeable fans, this race is mostly a drinking binge with some noisy cars in the background.
The focus (on that site) on alcohol consumption is really kind of depressing. I'm kind of amazed (and disappointed) that track management doesn't do anything to try and go a bit more upmarket.
If I wanted to hang with drunken louts I'd go to a British premier league game.

-the_stig, a ferrarichat.com douchebag
GGoose
Verified Member
Seasoned Veteran
*****
Posts: 666


Fan of Weather Whale


« Reply #5 on: January 21, 2011, 12:57:10 pm »

I shit myself at my first Sebring too.  I was 9 years old in 1970;
So in essence nothings changed?
Logged

EVER STOP TO THINK............. AND FORGET TO START AGAIN?
Whirled
Rookie
**
Posts: 54



« Reply #6 on: January 21, 2011, 10:22:45 pm »

The first year I camped with The Pit Crew My instruction for finding there spot was "Come over the drive over bridge, turn left and look for a big pile of shit".
My date wasn't to thrilled with these directions but it was all I had. When I got to the walkover  bridge it was quite obvious the directions were perfect.
Logged

"If everything is under control, you are going to slow."
 -- Mario Andretti
natefromohio
Verified Member
Friend of Tres
*****
Posts: 763



« Reply #7 on: January 24, 2011, 12:00:10 am »

I shit myself at my first Sebring too.  I was 9 years old in 1970;
So in essence nothings changed?

 grin
Logged

Nate Haas

"Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?" Hunter S. Thompson
lorie
Seasoned Veteran
****
Posts: 314


what race? there's a race?


« Reply #8 on: January 24, 2011, 09:15:09 am »

my first year at Sebring......I was crowned Miss Camel GT. Sounded fun enough until I had to report for duty on Saturday! I ended up abandoning my post for a guy in a porcshe, stole all the cigarettes they gave me to hand out, learned how to syphon gas from a hose so we could keep cruising, witnessed live porn under the flag pole and woke up the next morning full of mud in the porsche that thought it could successfully make it throught he mud hole! My crown.....tarnished forever in green parks wicked ways! Just dont ask about my third year! That one involved bail money and a real pised off dad! Damn KINGS!
Logged
SammGirl
Intern
*
Posts: 2



« Reply #9 on: March 28, 2011, 11:18:30 am »

My frist year at Sebring was a time not to long ago. Living is Misery, I decided to venture out side of the state to a such place named Florida. I was greeted at the Airport by the Toxic Twins, dressed is dirty kakis, oily t-shirts, and scruffy faces, standing next to 5 well-dressed sign-holding Limo drivers. Oh how i felt honored for my Elegent limo to be an old Beuick drivin by the ever-famous MaxOtto. After a few days of burns and sandy toes and lossing my phone to the Atlantic ocean, I somehow made the excrusiating drive to Sebring as a Noobtard. Who would have guessed my first year at Sebring will turn out to be the best Springbreak Vacation I have ever had in my life. Turn 10 is where it's at. I met alot of great people, one in particualar, who also happened to be his first year there too. Did i fall in love in 4 days? Oh HECK YEAH! smitten
 Say That
one word... Sebring.

Youll find me there next year. and the next 50 years to come.
Logged
MAXX OTTO
Seasoned Veteran
****
Posts: 372


Smell this


« Reply #10 on: March 29, 2011, 12:18:30 am »

Hey Sam, I did trim my toe nails before we picked you up at the airport.
Logged

Tell us another story Grandpa.
SammGirl
Intern
*
Posts: 2



« Reply #11 on: March 29, 2011, 06:44:21 am »

 Boogie
Logged
racingflamingos2
Intern
*
Posts: 22


« Reply #12 on: May 08, 2011, 06:26:31 pm »

 Drinker
Maxx my man,
You Devil You........
What can I say.....
Logged
Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to: